


Sense Memory

by morning_coffee



Category: The 4400
Genre: Aftermath of Possession, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 05:46:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9478247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morning_coffee/pseuds/morning_coffee
Summary: It's sense memory, striking at the most inconvenient moment.





	

The memories of what he's done when he was Marked return slowly, one by one, each of them more painful and horrid than the one before. Remembering shooting Curtis Peck makes him puke, and when he looks at himself in the bathroom mirror, his face is wan and his eyes are bloodshot and it gives him a hollow kind of satisfaction to smash the mirror with his bare hands and see the blood ooze from the cuts.

He doesn't think he could possibly hate himself any more than he already does. He's murdered innocent people. It doesn't get any worse than this, he's sure of that. Until he remembers Isabelle.

It's sense memory at first, striking at the most inconvenient moment. Meghan is holding him, comfort and warmth and tenderness in her touch, and it tugs on the edge of his consciousness: a kiss pressed against a smooth forehead, his fingers trailing over a trembling lower lip, his mouth following its lead.

Isabelle's expression flashes through his mind, hatred and anger and defeat, and he remembers the thrill of having her, taking her. Her body against his, strong and frail at the same time, and his laughter when her fingernails dug deep into his skin and left angry red lines on his back in a pitiful display of power. He remembers it as vividly as if it had been _him_ and not some vile creature that had taken over his mind and body.

Shoving Meghan away with enough force to make her stumble, he crumbles.

When Isabelle dies in his arms, later, he thinks he has no right to hold her like this. Not him, not now, after all he (someone else in his body, same difference) has done to her. But her hand blindly grabs at his own, desperately holding on, and he finds himself returning the grip just as tightly.


End file.
